Oh sure, I have friends who look good in clogs. With their little unicorn hooves instead of feet, they could make clown shoes look cute. They trip-trap down the street, tossing their hair and looking glamorous.

Luckily sometimes your unicorn-hoofed friends have the same foot problems that you do and they let you know that it's not just how the clogs look. It's how great it is to wear shoes that don't make your feet hurt. Dansko clogs have this funky sole that makes your foot rock when you walk, and an insole that gives better support than my prescription orthotics. I'm going to see a new orthopedic guy on Wednesday to see if there is a way to permanently fix my knobby feet and am hopeful that he'll have a better answer than the last doctor I went to ("here are orthotics k thx bye").



My feet are happy! My career as an assassin has been thoroughly destroyed, as I will never be able to sneak up on anyone while wearing them.