Lally terminology, lesson one

I grew up in a creative family. We didn't just play croquet....we made up our own rules where you had to march and keep your mallet at parade rest and called it 'military croquet.' There were entire casts of stuffed animals that had their own voices. Hell, even our cats had their own personalties and spoke via the sort of spirit medium of my father throughout their lives.

You get the picture. One other thing we did was make up terminology. Here is your first lesson.

Butt-Weasel: [buht] [wee-zuhl]
- somewhere between a noun and a verb, plural -sels
1. A semi involuntary emotional reaction, often expressed as a nose-wrinkling grimace accompanied by a vigorous clenching of the butt-cheeks. Usually caused by exposure to an image or story detailing great discomfort, pain, or other inconvenience.

A few examples:
"When I saw her chewing tinfoil, it gave me a total butt-weasel."
"The little needles are ok, but those huge four inch progesterone syringes give me a complete butt-weasel whenever I think of them."

Let's see if we can elicit the reaction in you, dear reader. So last night I had the oven open to cool it off after roasting a head of cauliflower. We have two wall ovens and I had been using the upper one. I walked over to close it, and in the process was dodging something on the floor, I think a cat, and the corner of the door caught a particular piece of my body jewelry on it's way up. And the door kept going until it closed.
It happened so quickly that I barely registered what was going on. I was extraordinarily lucky in that the metal chose to bend before my body gave way. I heard a "ping" and looked down to see metal lying on the floor. There wasn't too much pain, but I had an ice pack on there for a half hour or so. If you know me, you know where this was. If you don't, well, let's just say it wasn't in my ear.

Did you feel it? That, my friends, is a butt-weasel!