Lesbian Hen Enjoying Henhouse

Several years ago, I went for a day hike in a local park. While I was out my jeep had it's windows slashed and my wallet was stolen. It wasn't a horrible loss, but I did lose two important things:
1. My scuba certification, which included the infamous "Sarah's Huge Glasses" picture, which all of my friends still laugh about.
2. My tiny ripped out image from a 2001 issue of The Onion, entitled simply "Lesbian Hen Enjoying Henhouse."

Tonight when I got home from work the chickens were waiting. Charlie has been giving them some corn when he leaves for work, but the past few days haven't exactly been the all-corn-all-the-time manner to which they have become accustomed. So this evening, they were hungry. All five of them met me in the driveway. James was especially riled, all puffed out and strutting and Oh So Manly. I tossed out some corn.

James was trying so hard, really he was. He wanted that corn, but he also wanted all of the girls to look at him. Oh yeah, Henrietta was looking. She was watching to make sure that he wasn't getting any corn. Every time he tried to scoot in and grab some she would run him off. Truly, she would put her head down all snake-style and growl and rush him and James would do one of his patented "oh my goodness oh my GOODNESS!" acts and skitter sideways in submission.

A little later I was outside to do some mole killing, and James was crowing and crowing. And crowing. I watched him get all puffed up and inhale and flappity flap his wing feathers and start to crow....and Henrietta rushed him again. She would have none of it! She wanted her peace and her quiet and her happy land of hens. And when Henrietta gets cranky, James runs!

Hen power, my dear Henrietta. Hen power indeed.

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Eggs laid in the coop today: 1
Eggs found in the woods today: 0