Ranger Me

If you know me, you have heard me say something at least once over the past few months:

"Today, I'm going to take apart that damn weed-whacker and get it working."

I said that, oh, every day for about two months. Frankly it's been getting a little ridiculous so today, today, yes, I took apart that damn weed-whacker and I got it working.

really!

I continued my summer project of maintaining the Brownian National Park, otherwise known as Our Yard. Today's focus was the driveway. There are lots of lovely trees including some lacey japanese maples that are so gorgeous when the light filters in. And there are monstrous ferns blousing out from all sides and draping onto the driveway itself. Then there are the brambles. And the invasive ivy. And the rhododendrons that are on a mission to take over the face of the earth. Today I trimmed back the ground-ivy, ripped down the tree-climbing ivy, pruned the rhodie, and taught the brambles Who Is Boss.


I met several neighbors on their afternoon walks. They tactfully didn't mention the filthy bandana covering my crazy hair or the long scratches up both legs. I tried to stay downwind so that my dreadful perfume of sunscreen and heavy duty bug spray wouldn't sicken anyone. Unfortunately I think I may have gotten off on the wrong foot with one elderly gentleman who sauntered by as I was trying to shake sharp little pine needles out of my tank top. I am sure that someone out there could do this in a sexy manner, but I just couldn't manage to make it attractive while wearing work gloves and flapping around vigorously. Plus the damn things were sticking to all of the sunscreen and bug spray. I managed to make some intelligent small talk and teach him that the green devils invading his yard were, indeed, lowly buttercups, but overall he probably thinks me mad.

the main street, also quite park-like

Thank goodness he didn't come by a few hours earlier, when I was holding the newly-started weed-whacker and yelling at it, "you're my bitch now, you goddamned thing. I own you!"